losing weight and loose undies

Its an exciting feeling – seeing your clothes drop off you. I have underwear that just doesn’t fit any longer – however I need to keep it till after the ops – so when I finally settle down I will need to go shopping for new stuff – all different sizes.
None of my jeans fit any longer – I can put both arms down the sides of the waistband and pull them outward. My shirts are huge and I hate them all – I look like a house still.

I go from being happy I have lost weight to crappy as I still look gross. I know I don’t get out much – but no-one seems to have noticed or said anything. I guess if you have the amount I have to lose, then you just look plain fat – no matter how much you lose.

I am glad I am going off to get the surgery done. I think it’s the right time.

I'm a Barbie Girl

This is from an ad campagn run by the Body Shop. cool huh?

I am not a big fan of Barbies. I know – they are only the worlds most popular doll. Though I have to admit - my loathing for her has been replaced by those dreadful tweeny dolls the Bratz. Someone gave my daughter ( aged 3) one of them.. It sadly got lost – packaging and all as soon as the party was over.

Coming back to Barbie though – she has been the icon for girls for nearly 50 years – it still doesn’t make her right – but its interesting to see what started her off…

So heres a bit of history about Barbie. She was based on a European sex doll called Lilli. The Bild Lilli Doll was a German fashion doll produced from 1955 to 1964, based on the comic-strip character Lilli.. She was originally marketed to adults in bars and tobacco shops as a joke or gag gift. Many parents considered her not appropriate for children – so the Lilli doll didn’t make it big in Europe.

Ruth Handler – the wife of the president of Mattel in the 50s one bought some of the Lilli dolls when she was on a trip to Europe and then reworked the design of the doll and re-named her Barbie. At the time there were only baby dolls for children to play with and she had noticed that her daughter was role playing games with her dolls in adult settings – i.e shopping, cooking parties – so believed that their aught to be a doll that could handle this social pressure!

Lilli the cartoon - was post-war, sassy and ambitious and had no reservations talking about sex. As she had her own job she earned her own money as a secretary but wasn't above hanging out with rich men ("I could do without balding old men but my budget couldn't!"). The cartoon always consisted of a picture of Lilli talking to girlfriends, boyfriends, her boss ("As you were angry when I was late this morning I will leave the office at five p.m. sharp!"). The quips underneath the cartoons handled topics ranging from fashion (to a policeman who told her that two-piece-swimsuits are banned: "Which piece do you want me to take off?"), politics ("Of course I'm interested in politics; no one should ignore the way some politicians dress!") and even the beauty of nature ("The sunrise is so beautiful that I always stay late at the nightclub to see it!"). She was always very well dressed and discreet and became a fashion doll.

Deep dark secret here – I was always envious of my cousin who at that time owned every Barbie and accessory that had been produced. We are talking ummm 30 years ago ( a bit more maybe?) – but it still amounted to a very impressive bedroom full of Barbie dolls.

Which brings me to where I actually wanted to go from the start. My daughter – 3 – now owns several Barbies – given to her or somehow bred in the depths of depravity in her lower bunk… we were sitting at the shopping centre today and some teenage girls walked past. Little darling chimes up –“ look mummy – three Barbie dolls – but they are real!”

I can’t deny that she loves those dolls and spends hours dressing and undressing, role playing and carrying them round. My concern – and I am sure that it echos many parents – is that her expectations of body image as she grows into a woman. If Barbie was a real size she would have a 40" bust, a 22" waist and 36" hips. Her neck is TWICE the length of a normal human's neck! I can only think of one woman with a neck that long and it was natural – and of course it was the gorgeous Audrey Hepburn.

And of course secretly – thinking I am doing my daughter a disservice as I am not a Barbie – no groovy tight fitting clothes or mini skirts here – def not a ‘yummy mummy”. I don’t want my bad body image to rub off on her – to have her have all my hang ups. Urgg… My son is so sweet and loves to give me cuddles and wraps his arms around my tummy – saying I love your fat tummy mummy.. errrmm.. well what does one say to that?

Thanks…I guess...