Liposuction

Ok - I coped watching videos of the tummy tuck - but liposuction ones have made me a bit queezy.....

I have looked at a bunch of vidoes by this Doctor - he seems really cool.

Saced and Selfish

My intention for the next 30 days is to record each day feelings and thoughts as I head towards possibly the most scary selfish thing I have ever decided to do.

Selfish in that I don’t normally spend money on myself – I hate to shop – especially for clothes – but that is all wound up with the self image thing and self worth issues I have.

Selfish as in the surgery carries many dangers and risks. There is the possibility that I might die on the table. I have two surgeries planned – a day apart from the other and there is ‘a lot’ of work to be done. The risks are 1 in 100 000 – where as dying in a car crash is 8 in 100 000 ( got that from a website on dangers) I am selfish in that I have two very beautiful and loving kids who need me. I have a husband who loves me the way I am and is struggling to understand why this is important to me at all. Selfish as I see the tears in his eyes every time we talk about it. Its cutting me up and am on the verge of saying no I won’t do it. But he loves me enough that he wants me to be happy and can see my mind is set on doing this.

I am selfish enough to risk my life, to die, to chase this dream. That’s pretty damned terrifying.

I am selfish as I am using a great big chunk of money which sensibly should be used to buy us a new car – our current one is just about dead, but a new stove – two of our burners have not worked for 6 months, pay down our debts and house mortgage… especially with the current economic climate – who knows who will have jobs by the end of the month? So selfish, the worst I have ever been and yet,,, I still am committed.

Its scary. Going to a hospital for one thing. I am not fazed at all by getting on an airplane and flying several hours alone. I am really happy with the level of information given to me and the other peoples testimonies.

I’m scared that I am not ready – that I am too fat, not the right candidate for this sort of procedure – that the doctors will tell me to go away and lose weight before I come back. I’ve done a bunch of research on liposuction particularly and shake my head – its best for people who are 10% over their normal weight – WHAT? If I was 10% over my ideal weight who would CARE?

In short – today I am scared. Its now less than 30 days before I get on the plane- having said goodbye to my kids and hubby – and he wondering if he’ll ever see me again.

The Dangers of Liposuction

The dangers of liposuction are sometimes overlooked when the lure of a more shaply figure is within reach. Imagine having trimmer tummy and slimmer thighs - but without months of lettuce leaves? I have been doing heaps of research and am scared as hell... but here goes....

Some of the possible side effects of this procedure are bruising, swelling, temporary numbness and discomfort in the surgically treated area. There is a possibility of serious complications such as blood clots, infection or allergic reactions if the procedure is not performed by an experienced plastic surgeon.

The dangers of liposuction increase in proportion to the amount of fat removed. The risks and dangers of liposuction are increased if the large area is to be treated. There is also a chance that vital organs can be perforated or injured. Other dangers of liposuction can occur during the recovery process, in which the patient can incur infection or have unfavorable drug reactions.

Liposuction removes excess fat from specific areas of the body to improve its shape and contours. A blunt tube similar to a straw is inserted through tiny incisions in the skin. A suction pump is connected to the tube, which is moved in a side-to-side motion, vacuuming out the excess fat.

Large amounts of fluid containing diluted lidocaine for local anesthesia and epinephrine to reduce bleeding are gently pumped into the fatty layer through tiny needle holes in the skin until it is swollen or tumescent. As a result of the blood vessel constriction from the epinephrine in the anesthetic solution, there is very minimal bleeding during and after surgery. The average blood loss is just about a tablespoon, less than is often taken for blood tests so there is no need for blood transfusions.

The swelling of the fatty layer makes it easier to remove the unwanted fat, greatly reduces bleeding and results in numbness that lasts up to 24 hours. This numbness allows the procedure to be done without the need for general anesthesia and greatly reduces postoperative discomfort. Usually light oral sedation is used to make the injection of the fluid comfortable.

The biggest dangers of liposuction procedures have been related to three factors: the risks associated with general anesthesia and sedation, risks associated with blood loss and fluid replacement, and risks associated with excessive liposuction. These dangers of liposuction are reduced or eliminated by adhering to the tumescent technique.

The drugs used for general anesthesia are relatively more dangerous than those used for local anesthesia. The dangers of liposuction associated with these medicines, including respiratory arrest and allergic reactions, are eliminated by not using them. Local anesthesia is considerably safer, and tumescent liposuction provides better comfort requiring only Tylenol for pain relief during healing.

Using the tumescent technique eliminates the risks associated with substantial blood loss during traditional liposuction. Although the limit of fat removal for one session is ten pounds, the greater the amount of fat taken out can increase the dangers of liposuction. The less fat removed in any one surgery needs to be strictly limited for safety's sake. Liposuction is not appropriate for everyone.

Is Surgery the answer to Obesity?

On the other hand of extreme options is surgery. I understand there is a high risk involved – especially for someone who is overweight – to go under the knife. I’ve watched videos of the liposuction and its pretty gross. I can only imagine the pain and bruising once the anesthetic wear off.

Cutting something out or reshaping the form may not be the answer either – but let me tell you – the confidence that I would have if I wasn’t constantly hiding from cameras, holing up in the house because I don’t want to go out or for people to see me – would surely be worth it. As far as scars go – and from all research – the surgeons do a pretty good job now – I would not care one bit – its not like I wear a bikini now nor so I let anyone see my naked body readily. Besides – what cool stories could I make up as reasons for them?

At this point all I can see are the pluses for surgery. To be a size 18 would be an incredible dream for me. Being able to wear semi normal clothes – go into normal shops, go on rides at funparks with my kids, go hot air ballooning, getting into a seat in the airplane. There are things I cannot do physically right now – including stretches for my movement classes – boobs and guts get in the way – and its not my lack of stretch that stops me going any further. Putting on back packs and straps to go bushwalking is a hassle, riding my bicycle is a hassle with my tummy getting in the way. I know that I am getting narrow vision here – but all I can see is the gut gone and I can have a crack at looking normal again.

What does one do? I don’t even have the gumption to bring this up with my partner, fearing ridicule and persecution.

I know a lot (most – well all) my problems about weight are in my head. I can’t bear to look at the mirror and hate seeing photos of myself. I thank the inventor of the digital camera as I can delete all photos of me with a “oops” sorry pressed the wrong button…… I understand that most people have the same fear – that they are not good enough.. for whatever they believe they aught to be good enough for. All I can think is that if only I didn’t have this huge stomach bulging out and knocking everything over when I walk past anything, then I would have more confidence in doing things. I know I have lost confidence majorly in the last few years as the weight has crept on. I no longer want to be part of volunteer groups as it would mean I would have to deal with the public and I shy away from anything I have to present or be in front of people at. Its not I am afraid of public speaking – I just don’t want people to look at me.

I can’t even expect anyone to understand how I feel about this or how desperate this has all become. Perhaps it is optimistic in me thinking that if only, if only I did do the surgery, then things would be different. I know there is no way I would ever go back to being the size I am now if given a clean slate.

The 'side effects' of remaining Morbidly Obese are far far FAR worse than choosing either lap band or surgery. I have always been one who jumps in feet first – dramatic with everything.. I just wish I could talk sensibly about my decision process with someone who actually understood – not a skinny mini who has no idea…( sisters, family….)

The torment is excruitiating.