The perfect weight.

I have been surfing about the be squillion blogs out there which focus on weight and dieting and it is starting to really depress me. There are many that take photos of the scales as they stand on them – like you have got to be kidding – now way for one am I going near that evil machine – it hates me – and two – it is smart little thing that remembers your weight – and then goes and tiddle tats to your husband who says things like – “I see my assets are growing.” All in a loving and joking manner.. but still highlighting that all in not right in the world.

The irony is that I am happy – well most of the time. I know I am fat, but I am happy and most of the time I think I look ok or even quite nice. I make an effort with makeup and dressing, underwear that matches and even lingerie. I am happy when I don’t think about it or accidentally catch a sidewards glance of myself in the mirror. Then I catch a glimpse of another reality and I sigh wondering how a different life may have been if I was thinner somehow.

I think for people who are overweight the enormity of the task ahead is just so great – so overwhelming that is simply isn’t an option to start. I have lost and gained weight over the years – having been on a diet for over 25 years now – well on and off….. and the crappy thing is when you start to lose weight and are really chuffed at how you are going – some idiot makes a sideways comment – or a well meaning relative says something like – oh you have such a pretty face, it’s a pity you can’t lose weight – and you may have lost heaps already! Makes me just head to the dessert buffet and think sod it – its just not worth the denial, pain, suffering and anxiety of counting calories, ensuring your heartbeat is over a certain level for a certain time and organizing your life around personal trainers and the gym – who are full of know it all skinny wenches in skin tight matching outfits who I am sure are paid to hang out there to make you feel bad about your baggy tshirt and sagging sweatpants. I did go and try and buy some groovy gym gear once – but apparently you can’t get anything remotely fashionable or nice unless you are a size 14 – like – if I was a size 14 I wouldn’t be bothering to go to the gym.. hello?!

So what is the perfect weight? If you're choosing your target number based on a picture of bikini-clad super model taped to your refrigerator door, or on a yellowing photograph of yourself in your wedding dress from three decades ago, your goal-weight expectations might be a tad unrealistic. Times, and "ideal weight" guidelines, have definitely changed. If your notion of what your body size should be is based on what you see on the TV screen or in the pages of fashion magazines, you are definitely dooming yourself to failure. The fact is, most of us don't look like actresses or models, and to attempt to make our bodies match theirs is unnecessarily punishing, if not impossible. They have full time chefs, nannies and personal trainers, live in a bubble of unreality totally detached from mortgages and the rising cost of petrol. Besides – you are a different person now than that idealistic lass in the white frock and supermodels now days are usually 12 years old and very unlikely to be able to spell ‘birth” much less done it.

Sigh…. All the reading I do keeps harping on about how you feel within yourself is the best weight. Maybe if I banned any reflective surface I might be ok with this?