Scars and Stuff

I have been saying I will take a photo of my scaring and publish them - but just haven't. Yes its a bit personal - so no offense is intended and I am certainly not the type to be flashing my bits around normally.

I am publishing these so that anyone who is thinking of doing something similar will be aware of the extent of scaring that can occur. Personally its a very small price to pay. they are in very intimate areas - and anyone who has access to those areas damn well best keep their mouth shut if they don't like the look of them.

I will be pretty open here - so if you're not up for it - click away now.

First - my breasts. There is a little darkening in some areas around the nipples and I have had internal stitches get all festy and lumpy. However - the body just got rid of the foreign objects - so in a gross spurt of goo - bits of stitch were ejected. On the whole though - fantastic - re-attached perfectly..

There are scars from underneath which trace upward to the nipple area. They are fading fast - but won't ever go - but really - small price to pay.


This is a shot of my hip area. My Tummy tuck scar is from hip bone to hip bone. As you can see, its fading fast too. the closer to the middle though - I still have deep bruising. The line is still noticeable - but I really don't care. Its not like I am going to flash it round or go nude anywhere soon.!!

If I go back to Thailand, I will seriously look at getting a tat done all the way across over the line - entwined ivy - like my ankle.

I still have very little feeling along the scar line and none at all in the middle around my bellybutton area.

If I am feeling braver soon, I'll get someone to do a body shot... hummm not too soon though...

A year on from THAT Wedding

A year ago I went to a wedding and began to pour out my fears, insecurities and sadness as a reaction to my perception of what I looked like. I'd done years of self development, courses, training and coaching in an attempt to be at peace with the way I looked and was....it never really truly worked. I grew more unhappy and more withdrawn.

Despite having gone to the hairdresser, had money thrown at me by my family to buy whatever I wanted to wear , had the whole beauty treatment done with nails etc, I felt fat, frumpy and very unattractive. I begrudgingly stood in for photos and hid at the back where I could. I escaped much of the reception as I didn't feel comfortable eating or drinking with others, nor did I want to get on the dance floor or talk to anyone. I hid in my room and cried and hated myself and what I was.

I sit here now - a year on - thereabouts in any case. Unbelievably, I have just come back from another wedding. What a complete change and difference. I rock and rolled on the dancefloor with my cousin, I danced by myself and anyone else who would get up there. We line danced, pole danced, barefoot danced, sang and generally made too much noise and had a lot of fun.

Just after midnight, I even contemplated going skinny dipping in the pool... and I hadn't drunk much at all ( a few glasses of champers which had by that time worn off) I was simply high on fun and life.

I can't put a price on that confidence. I know I still have a long way to go....and will be working on this every day. I also know that I would not be in this frame of mind or position if I had just gone down the track of intensive gym membership...