Reality kicks in with photos

I just don’t get how you can be so skew in the way you feel and the way you look.

I bought a dreamy beautiful gown to go to a wedding yesterday. I got my fingernails and toenails done ( a pure luxury for me) my hair cut and today meticulously did my make up. I felt at least a million dollars and set off to the wedding, thinking I looked fabulous.

Family and formal photos completed - I have the chance via the wonder of digital photos to look at some of the shots - and was horrified to see my bloated face and body dominating the screen.

I am close to tears as I am writing this. I felt so chic and glamorous and then get a glance in photos and all I want to do is lock myself up and never come out.

I have tears running down my face as I type this. I felt so gorgeous only to be smacked around by reality. The thing that gets me the most is that I would describe myself as sensible, grounded and practical – how is it that I can be so wrong and so out of wack with something as important and glaringly obvious as what you LOOK like?

I wonder if I am the only one who ever feels like this – do I have such an ego that it needs to be slapped down like this?

I am unsure if I even want to go back to the wedding breakfast – to face all the others – family members looking gorgeous… and then there are the official photos and the dreaded family shots. I have been pretty good so far at avoiding all of these – being busy with the kids or taking shots myself – so unable to be lined up with everyone else.

Later on………
Sadly for my depressive funk I had to go back to the party – the kids were hungry and being the partner of one of the wedding party I was kind of missed.

I wonder how long I can coop myself up in the house without going out.