I wore a bikini today

I wore a bikini today at the beach.

For some people this is a very boring experience and perhaps others may think.. umm so what??

.. the last time I was in a bikini was when I was 8 years old and I have never owned one as an adult. I generally get out into the water with more material on than an Iranian lass in a birker.

I have to admit for the first few moments – especially when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I thought what on earth possessed you to not only buy a bikini – but to now wear one in public?

When I first got out of hospital and the bandages taken off, I stared in wonderment at my new shape and cried. I never thought I’d have the opportunity to see anything that resembled a flattened tummy again. Although I have a rounded tummy still, it basically goes straight down – no floppy bits – no folds or flap overs. I also understand that I need to lose weight and get my tummy muscles into shape in order to have a much tighter and flatter stomach line.

With this in mind – I strode out into the waterside, head held high.
I am wearing a bikini.

I may still have a rounded tummy and love handles at the side – but I am wearing a bikini. That is such a strong statement of self confidence, I am still in awe.

Just thought I’d share that one…

Beach Babe

I've been kinda underground at the moment - mentally and spiritually I guess. I feel like such a fake - starting this blog off with all the best intentions of sharing my path to acceptance of my size and looks - and I can't even bear to write about it. I thought I'd better post something - to get me back in the swing of it...

I have just gotten back from a fab beach holiday - chasing the sunshine. I have never owned a bikini and each year wish that I could wear one; look at my flabby white belly and droopy bits and decide to cover up with the hugest t-shirt I can get and stay in the water all day - rushing out to get changed and not bother with the whole sand experience.

I bought myself several pairs of new togs - the new bikini type - but they meet - if you know what I mean.. well - its a step forward into that direction I am thinking. I also have some large floppy hats – very Audrey Hepburn – and several wraps – flimsy whimsical things. And I wore togs all day every day for two weeks. I put chunky jewelry on, lipstick and of course lots of sunscreen, and lay in deckchairs, on hammocks and hung out, drinking cocktails and being glamorous ( in my mind at least) and I don’t care what I actually looked like – I only took a scant few photos while I was there anyway.

The thing was – I felt beautiful; so why destroy the fantasy with a shot from reality?