To tell or not to tell

I made a decision a while back - before I went ahead with the surgery - not to tell anyone about it.

There were a few people who, along the course of matter, I could not avoid in saying something, and one friend put a few things together and worked it out.

For those people I entrust a sacred bond and have asked them not to discuss or tell others. Not because I live a lie, not because I am secretive - but because its been a very personal journey for me and one which I would like to share with those who need to know. Its nothing to do with trust or who I "like" more than another person. My decision was mine to make and I believe its mine to then share with those I want to.. and not for it to be openly chatted about.

I was in a lot of personal emotional pain before the surgery and had shut myself away. So afterwards and during my recovery, it was easy to keep away from people and friends. For many I was absent for up to 6 months - so the changes in my body - if they noticed at all - were not of a shock or surprise.

For some friends, I found it very difficult NOT to say anything, but kept my silence. I've always been one to tell friends everything and be very open about stuff.. but for some reason - this decision I made - was for me alone and one I didn't want to share with even the closest friend.

So - if you are wondering - should I tell people or should I not? Whatever surgery you are looking at doing - do it for the right reason - for you.

Ask yourself - what are you going to 'get' out of telling others about your decision?

Will that support you or place negative energy on you?

For me - the judgement and negativity I received from my sisters - people I thought would support and encourage me regardless to what I did, formed the base in which I operated from. I was not ( and still am not) prepared to have to justify my decision - or feel embarrassed or ashamed I 'succumbed' to the beauty myth.

I know I have said this before - but I had massive changes in my body - and not very many people even commented on it. I really don't think many even noticed... which is a big slap in the face - but one that confirms that you need to do this surgery for YOURSELF...

Still wondering what to say to folk

SOfar I have been unable to tell many people – hubby ( of course – after tearful and gutwrenching displays of emotion and a bunch of other stuff months ago.) and a dear girlfriend of mine whom although we see very little of, email or be in touch, we connect immediately when we do – and over lunch I felt it right to tell her. She was so supportive and fantastic about it. She even wanted to come with me and get some stuff done.. believe me – out of all my girlfriends, she is the last person I would think needed any perfecting on.

I kinda have to thing about what I am going to say to people as I am expecting its going to be quite a transformation when all the swelling etc goes down. I know its not going to change me into a size 12 – but there will be some major body shape differences. Maybe I just won’t say anything. After all – its not like its anyones business.

I know its not a end all and be all change – it’s the beginning of something fantastic and new. I feel I have done as much as I can and I really need help ona major level to step up to the next phase in body acceptance. Its just not going to work when I look the way I do.

I am both scared and so looking forward to it.. less than two weeks now.

what to tell people

I am going to come back different - in shape and as a person. so what they hell does one say?

While its true I have hidden away for a good two months and have been dieting, trying to gain peace and health in preparation for this surgery, there is still going to be a big difference. I am still unsure if I am even going to let on I had surgery.. is it really anyones business?

I think I am just going to smile and thank them for their observations.

hardly anyone knows I am going overseas or into hospital in anycase.