Ok – so some serious thoughts and research ahs been going on in my head for the last 6 months or so. I started this blog because I thought I had at last come to peace with the way I looked. I really want to believe that you can be beautiful and sensual no matter what size you are – but I just can’t. In the last six months I have become more sheltered, less gregarious, unwilling to accept any invitations to go out and its getting worse – My own mother in laws wedding – and all I wanted to do was to hide in the hotel room and cry ( which I actually did for part of the time) Its crap and Its got to stop.
I have seriously looked at some of the exotic beauty getaway packages that are springing up all over the place. Its a huge business – over 1000% growth last year alone. Check out Restored Beauty Getaways I met with their representative here in my home town today and was very impressed. Having worked in the recruitment business in medical for a while I would be hesitant to trust most doctors trained in this country – much less those from overseas. I doubt anyone in this country asks for accreditation or looks into the hospital rooms or after care if they go in for surgery. So impressed with the presentation of the rooms etc.. oh and there were lots of machines that went beep – and people walking around with white coats and clipboards looking concerned as well as the ubiquitous person peering into a test tube and swirling it round.. gotta love advertising – however seeing past that – I saw a highly professional team, top notch hospital and very experienced doctors.
Ultimatly, my outcome is confidence. I need something dramatic and this looks like the golden ticket.. I know that I won’t walk out looking like Victoria Beckenham and there are risks involved – but as I said before – the risk of staying the size I am is far greater to my mind than going ahead. Not only health wise – but emotionally and psychologically. I feel myself slipping further into a black hole. I am angry and revolting to be around and feel sorry for my sweet children and patient hubby who look at me with bewildered eyes wondering who this monster is. I just want to get off but can’t find the button to stop.
I feel I am on the brink of a huge step for me and need to just tip over and do it…
Showing posts with label state of mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label state of mind. Show all posts
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Being Beautiful
Here's what 42 year-old Halle Berry, new Mom of Nahla (born in March) has to say after being deamed the "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire Magazine....
"Sexiness is a state of mind - a comfortable state of being," she says. "It's about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments."
Without sounding catty or awful, I think its pretty easy to have a sexy state of mind if you have the body of Halle Berry. However taking the essence of her words – I do believe what she says is true. The times I have felt truly beautiful were often bizarre or challenging times and I felt powerful, in control and beautiful. Doing things which are sensual, pampering and treating myself for the sheer glory of beauty, having beautiful things around, fresh flowers or sipping out of a dainty teacup - is when I feel most feminine and luscious.
I do have concerns about the rising amount of Yummy Mummies – with Victoria B as its queen. In case you have lived under a rock – they are the glamorous mums and mums-to-be who shop, lunch and totter their way through pregnancy in sexy very high heeled shoes, proudly displaying their perfect round little bumps like the latest handbag and have those perfect babies who wear matching designer gear. They are never sick, tired or grumpy – but usually have an au-pair or nanny, personal trainer and a cook working for them. – oh and they ‘bounce” back into perfect shape within a few months – while the rest of us are still wearing our 9 month preg gear a year after having our little one.
But coming back to being beautiful – I think its possible – certainly for short moments…. and who knows – if we practice long enough perhaps those moments will last a whole hour! What bliss would that be to be truly beautiful for an hour – where no-one can touch us and our feminine power of lusciousness and sensuality.
"Sexiness is a state of mind - a comfortable state of being," she says. "It's about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments."
Without sounding catty or awful, I think its pretty easy to have a sexy state of mind if you have the body of Halle Berry. However taking the essence of her words – I do believe what she says is true. The times I have felt truly beautiful were often bizarre or challenging times and I felt powerful, in control and beautiful. Doing things which are sensual, pampering and treating myself for the sheer glory of beauty, having beautiful things around, fresh flowers or sipping out of a dainty teacup - is when I feel most feminine and luscious.
I do have concerns about the rising amount of Yummy Mummies – with Victoria B as its queen. In case you have lived under a rock – they are the glamorous mums and mums-to-be who shop, lunch and totter their way through pregnancy in sexy very high heeled shoes, proudly displaying their perfect round little bumps like the latest handbag and have those perfect babies who wear matching designer gear. They are never sick, tired or grumpy – but usually have an au-pair or nanny, personal trainer and a cook working for them. – oh and they ‘bounce” back into perfect shape within a few months – while the rest of us are still wearing our 9 month preg gear a year after having our little one.
But coming back to being beautiful – I think its possible – certainly for short moments…. and who knows – if we practice long enough perhaps those moments will last a whole hour! What bliss would that be to be truly beautiful for an hour – where no-one can touch us and our feminine power of lusciousness and sensuality.
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