Ok - I coped watching videos of the tummy tuck - but liposuction ones have made me a bit queezy.....
I have looked at a bunch of vidoes by this Doctor - he seems really cool.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Tummy Tuck
Ok - I have been really concerened about what the effect would be on my body after surgery. I haven't been able to find any pictures of videos of people who look like me and what they look like afterwards - till this one.. I think I am getting a bit excited now. I don't expect to walk out looking like a super model - but to get rid of the hanging stomock... and to have some sort of waist... even a larger one.. .oh dreams... I could even then do some of the stretches in dance class I can't do - not becasue of lack of flexibility - but beacuse of my fat gut.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Adreniline Rushes
Its not anything new - but I get Adrenaline Rushes constantly throughout the day. - you know that cold "silver" spreading feeling that starts in your chest and tingles its way through your body? I can't say my heart rushes or anything before or afterwards - but its been with me so long I thought its normal.
Its the reason I can't sleep or relax. I can't stop still and have to move all the time.
did some reserach and found that adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland in the body of many animals. When it is produced in the body it stimulates the heart-rate, dilates blood vessels and air passages, and has a number of more minor effects. Adrenaline is naturally produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations.
Does this men I live in a constant state of high stress? hummm must do I guess - but I wouldn't have said I was stressed normally. I usually got it all down pat.
The term "fight or flight" is often used to characterize the circumstances under which adrenaline is released into the body. It is an early evolutionary adaptation to allow better coping with dangerous and unexpected situations. With dilated blood vessels and air passages, the body is able to pass more blood to the muscles and get more oxygen into the lungs in a timely manner, increasing physical performance for short bursts of time.
The adrenal glands may be found directly above the kidneys in the human body, and are roughly three inches (7.62 cm) in length. Norepinephrine (or noradrenaline) is also released from the adrenal glands when they are active. In a healthily functioning human, approximately 80% of the released substance is adrenaline, and the other 20% is norepinephrine.
Adrenaline was the first hormone to be identified, and was successfully synthesized in 1904. It is part of a family known as biogenic amines, which includes serotonin and histamine, among others. Its specific compound group is the catecholamine group, which also includes norepinephrine and dopamine. Sustained high levels of catecholamines in the blood are a good indicator of chronic stress.
It may be important after a particularly stressful situation to 'work off' the adrenaline that has been released into your system. Our ancestors handled this naturally through fighting or other physical exertion, but in the modern world, high-stress situations often arise that that involve little physical activity. This can leave high amounts of adrenaline in the body, resulting in insomnia and jittery nerves.
alot more research tells me that its pretty bad for the heart and lessens your life expectancy. So for me to have adrenaline shooting off every 10 mins ( or less) is umm a bit of a concern.
might have to do some more research
Its the reason I can't sleep or relax. I can't stop still and have to move all the time.
did some reserach and found that adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland in the body of many animals. When it is produced in the body it stimulates the heart-rate, dilates blood vessels and air passages, and has a number of more minor effects. Adrenaline is naturally produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations.
Does this men I live in a constant state of high stress? hummm must do I guess - but I wouldn't have said I was stressed normally. I usually got it all down pat.
The term "fight or flight" is often used to characterize the circumstances under which adrenaline is released into the body. It is an early evolutionary adaptation to allow better coping with dangerous and unexpected situations. With dilated blood vessels and air passages, the body is able to pass more blood to the muscles and get more oxygen into the lungs in a timely manner, increasing physical performance for short bursts of time.
The adrenal glands may be found directly above the kidneys in the human body, and are roughly three inches (7.62 cm) in length. Norepinephrine (or noradrenaline) is also released from the adrenal glands when they are active. In a healthily functioning human, approximately 80% of the released substance is adrenaline, and the other 20% is norepinephrine.
Adrenaline was the first hormone to be identified, and was successfully synthesized in 1904. It is part of a family known as biogenic amines, which includes serotonin and histamine, among others. Its specific compound group is the catecholamine group, which also includes norepinephrine and dopamine. Sustained high levels of catecholamines in the blood are a good indicator of chronic stress.
It may be important after a particularly stressful situation to 'work off' the adrenaline that has been released into your system. Our ancestors handled this naturally through fighting or other physical exertion, but in the modern world, high-stress situations often arise that that involve little physical activity. This can leave high amounts of adrenaline in the body, resulting in insomnia and jittery nerves.
alot more research tells me that its pretty bad for the heart and lessens your life expectancy. So for me to have adrenaline shooting off every 10 mins ( or less) is umm a bit of a concern.
might have to do some more research
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Pity Party Over
Pity Party
About time to crash the pity party and get on with reshaping a new identity. That’s what this whole exercise is all about –after all. I know in the very fiber of my being that the stomach stapling gastro lap band thing would just not suit me. It don’t re educate the way you eat – as far as I can tell from experiences others around me have had – is that it physically restricts you in eating the amounts you used to – but not WHAT goes in. The things you can eat would be stuff no healthy person should eat anyway – no greens, no fruit or fiberous stuff? Man – that’s just a highway to colon cancer. I think the thing that really did it for me in my decision not to do the lap band was the gleeful admissions by people who had it done that they could still eat chocolate and dessert.
Habits is what will reshape me and in my 4 months of being nearly ( on and off) raw, I have changed from getting a snack of a chocolate bar at the petrol station when I fill up or at the supermarket – and opting to wait till I get home – or finding some grapes, cherries or some sweet fruit to munch on instead. I ( and this shocked me) even don’t feel like eating sweet processed things and hunger for a piece of melon or an apple instead. I think that in itself is gold.
So Pity Party is over. I think (modestly of course) that I have far too much in store for me in this life to end it now. It would just be too boring. Being chased naked down the street at 107 after having an affair with someone 3 times my junior… now that’s more likely….. and a bit more fun to think about.
About time to crash the pity party and get on with reshaping a new identity. That’s what this whole exercise is all about –after all. I know in the very fiber of my being that the stomach stapling gastro lap band thing would just not suit me. It don’t re educate the way you eat – as far as I can tell from experiences others around me have had – is that it physically restricts you in eating the amounts you used to – but not WHAT goes in. The things you can eat would be stuff no healthy person should eat anyway – no greens, no fruit or fiberous stuff? Man – that’s just a highway to colon cancer. I think the thing that really did it for me in my decision not to do the lap band was the gleeful admissions by people who had it done that they could still eat chocolate and dessert.
Habits is what will reshape me and in my 4 months of being nearly ( on and off) raw, I have changed from getting a snack of a chocolate bar at the petrol station when I fill up or at the supermarket – and opting to wait till I get home – or finding some grapes, cherries or some sweet fruit to munch on instead. I ( and this shocked me) even don’t feel like eating sweet processed things and hunger for a piece of melon or an apple instead. I think that in itself is gold.
So Pity Party is over. I think (modestly of course) that I have far too much in store for me in this life to end it now. It would just be too boring. Being chased naked down the street at 107 after having an affair with someone 3 times my junior… now that’s more likely….. and a bit more fun to think about.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Looking at the positives
Just a short one today.
I’m not sick, I am in pretty good health – having been on a nearly raw diet now for 4 months and taken plenty of glyconutrients and supplements.
I go to a dance class on a Monday night – what a work out!, do karate twice a week ( mostly)
I wish I could say I have lost heaps of weight and inches and inches as was my plan. But despite being uber strict, have really not changed much – a few inches on the hips and waist – practically nothing on the scales.
So perhaps – after hormonal tests have come back with nothing, thyroid is only a little under active – this surgery will actually help me.
Unless you have been there – been really overweight - you can’t know how it feels, how pervasive lunging this weight around with you everywhere – the judging looks from people if you dare eat out, how you have to chose the right chairs and places to sit – otherwise you don’t fit, how you can’t join your kids in the park or on rides in the fair or theme parks because you don’t fit. The embarrassment and frustration.http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/50126803_90887e1251_s.jpg
I'd really like to go on the rollercoaster...one of the first things I am planning to do when I get back.
So the positives for this surgery will be that I will look different – even a little and in that way I will be different, will react to the world around be differently. Although there isn’t a confidence pill, I am sure that this comes a very close second.. the opportunity to look different – that’s something to hold on to.
I’m not sick, I am in pretty good health – having been on a nearly raw diet now for 4 months and taken plenty of glyconutrients and supplements.
I go to a dance class on a Monday night – what a work out!, do karate twice a week ( mostly)
I wish I could say I have lost heaps of weight and inches and inches as was my plan. But despite being uber strict, have really not changed much – a few inches on the hips and waist – practically nothing on the scales.
So perhaps – after hormonal tests have come back with nothing, thyroid is only a little under active – this surgery will actually help me.
Unless you have been there – been really overweight - you can’t know how it feels, how pervasive lunging this weight around with you everywhere – the judging looks from people if you dare eat out, how you have to chose the right chairs and places to sit – otherwise you don’t fit, how you can’t join your kids in the park or on rides in the fair or theme parks because you don’t fit. The embarrassment and frustration.http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/50126803_90887e1251_s.jpg
I'd really like to go on the rollercoaster...one of the first things I am planning to do when I get back.
So the positives for this surgery will be that I will look different – even a little and in that way I will be different, will react to the world around be differently. Although there isn’t a confidence pill, I am sure that this comes a very close second.. the opportunity to look different – that’s something to hold on to.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tummy Tuck - whats involved?
I have been too afraid to talk about what I am about to undergo with anyone - apart from my partner. Afraid of their reaction, judgment. I went through the whole research stuff last year - but it was pretty much hypothetical... its now less than 2 weeks... here's a you tube basic video of what one of the surgeries I am getting done... and yes - getting some very attractive undergarments to wear for weeks afterwards
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
What would you do if you had less than 25 days to live?
I have to say as the time ticks on I am sacred to freaking death. I go from trying to normalize the whole thing to getting panicy about all the things I haven’t done.
I started looking at all the Christmas presents I have stashed away today. I am a compulsive present buyer – when I see something on sale or perfect for someone , I will buy it and stash it – making Christmas so much more manageable financially and with less stress. I started to think that well – if I am not here – then my family is going to be stuck with a bunch of gifts with no names on them – or worse yet – finding them years later and wondering what to do.
I’ve so many projects I have started and not fully completed – scrap book gift for hubby, photo albums from life overseas – literally hundreds of photos which would be meaningless to anyone else, patchwork and needlepoint, not to mention writing projects and websites I am still fiddling with.
What the hell do you do? Try and finish everything? Go mad with the flurry of activity? Or try and capture some sort of memories with your family, your kids, the people you love? I have been so tetchy lately, and I know horrible to be around – especially for my sweet kids. Probably a combination of the lack of food and stress, hormones – and stress….
What would you do if you had less than 4 weeks of life?
No-one can actually ever tell – the good old bus might mow you down tomorrow. I have attempted to live with little regret, to tell people what I feel about them. I can’t see myself doing a mass mail out of “I love yous” to people. I would hope that if something did happen and I died – that people would know; that they would already have that closure.
What are my regrets? I guess I don’t have long sweeping ones like wasting my life on stuff – they are specific things.
I regret I didn’t insist both my sisters be bridesmaids at my wedding. The material for their dresses still sits in the bottom of my huge material cupboard.
I regret losing touch with my best friend from Uni. We just drifted apart after she was posted up north to teach and married. Different lives, just drifted away. She’s a stranger to me now when we see on another. We used to share everything, know everything about each other, get in and out of the most terrible scrapes and it stabs me in the heart to think it was just.. lost.
I have traveled extensively, experienced life at all angles, had crazy love affairs, dangerous and mad times done extreme adventure pursuits and lived (so far) a pretty outrageous and fortunate life intermixed with incredible crap times and misfortune ( if you could label certain growth periods as misfortune). . I’d be miffed I would have to say – if I never got to see Russia, Turkey or Croatia – we missed them when we lived os.. Hubby was too ill with the treatments for us to get off the beaten track too much by the time we were to see them.
I’d be particularly sad that I wouldn’t be round to help my daughter – who at the age of 4 has the sprit of a tiger and attracts trouble with a giant T. She’s going to need a heap of help as she grows up.
I go between being scared witless to being numb. The worst thing about it all is that I have no-one to share it with. I will tell the story of my family in a post soon.. just have to get the emotional strength to revisit all of that awefulness.
I can’t really let on to my partner – hes being supportive and strong and all that and I see the tears in his eyes and desperation every day – he looks at me as though I am going to die – that he will be waving me off and he’ll never see me again. How can I even say that I am scared to him? We both fall apart? Someone has to remain strong.
I’ve not told any of my friends about what I am going to do. Is it so bad that I feel that they wouldn’t understand? That I think the friendships I have are so shallow or judgmental that they would pass judgments? Its not about them – I know that – its about me and my insecurities. I am so crap at this.
I started looking at all the Christmas presents I have stashed away today. I am a compulsive present buyer – when I see something on sale or perfect for someone , I will buy it and stash it – making Christmas so much more manageable financially and with less stress. I started to think that well – if I am not here – then my family is going to be stuck with a bunch of gifts with no names on them – or worse yet – finding them years later and wondering what to do.
I’ve so many projects I have started and not fully completed – scrap book gift for hubby, photo albums from life overseas – literally hundreds of photos which would be meaningless to anyone else, patchwork and needlepoint, not to mention writing projects and websites I am still fiddling with.
What the hell do you do? Try and finish everything? Go mad with the flurry of activity? Or try and capture some sort of memories with your family, your kids, the people you love? I have been so tetchy lately, and I know horrible to be around – especially for my sweet kids. Probably a combination of the lack of food and stress, hormones – and stress….
What would you do if you had less than 4 weeks of life?
No-one can actually ever tell – the good old bus might mow you down tomorrow. I have attempted to live with little regret, to tell people what I feel about them. I can’t see myself doing a mass mail out of “I love yous” to people. I would hope that if something did happen and I died – that people would know; that they would already have that closure.
What are my regrets? I guess I don’t have long sweeping ones like wasting my life on stuff – they are specific things.
I regret I didn’t insist both my sisters be bridesmaids at my wedding. The material for their dresses still sits in the bottom of my huge material cupboard.
I regret losing touch with my best friend from Uni. We just drifted apart after she was posted up north to teach and married. Different lives, just drifted away. She’s a stranger to me now when we see on another. We used to share everything, know everything about each other, get in and out of the most terrible scrapes and it stabs me in the heart to think it was just.. lost.
I have traveled extensively, experienced life at all angles, had crazy love affairs, dangerous and mad times done extreme adventure pursuits and lived (so far) a pretty outrageous and fortunate life intermixed with incredible crap times and misfortune ( if you could label certain growth periods as misfortune). . I’d be miffed I would have to say – if I never got to see Russia, Turkey or Croatia – we missed them when we lived os.. Hubby was too ill with the treatments for us to get off the beaten track too much by the time we were to see them.
I’d be particularly sad that I wouldn’t be round to help my daughter – who at the age of 4 has the sprit of a tiger and attracts trouble with a giant T. She’s going to need a heap of help as she grows up.
I go between being scared witless to being numb. The worst thing about it all is that I have no-one to share it with. I will tell the story of my family in a post soon.. just have to get the emotional strength to revisit all of that awefulness.
I can’t really let on to my partner – hes being supportive and strong and all that and I see the tears in his eyes and desperation every day – he looks at me as though I am going to die – that he will be waving me off and he’ll never see me again. How can I even say that I am scared to him? We both fall apart? Someone has to remain strong.
I’ve not told any of my friends about what I am going to do. Is it so bad that I feel that they wouldn’t understand? That I think the friendships I have are so shallow or judgmental that they would pass judgments? Its not about them – I know that – its about me and my insecurities. I am so crap at this.
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