Looking at the positives

Just a short one today.

I’m not sick, I am in pretty good health – having been on a nearly raw diet now for 4 months and taken plenty of glyconutrients and supplements.

I go to a dance class on a Monday night – what a work out!, do karate twice a week ( mostly)

I wish I could say I have lost heaps of weight and inches and inches as was my plan. But despite being uber strict, have really not changed much – a few inches on the hips and waist – practically nothing on the scales.

So perhaps – after hormonal tests have come back with nothing, thyroid is only a little under active – this surgery will actually help me.

Unless you have been there – been really overweight - you can’t know how it feels, how pervasive lunging this weight around with you everywhere – the judging looks from people if you dare eat out, how you have to chose the right chairs and places to sit – otherwise you don’t fit, how you can’t join your kids in the park or on rides in the fair or theme parks because you don’t fit. The embarrassment and frustration.http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/50126803_90887e1251_s.jpg

I'd really like to go on the rollercoaster...one of the first things I am planning to do when I get back.

So the positives for this surgery will be that I will look different – even a little and in that way I will be different, will react to the world around be differently. Although there isn’t a confidence pill, I am sure that this comes a very close second.. the opportunity to look different – that’s something to hold on to.